We go to all sorts of lengths, often unconsciously, to hide from what has hurt us. But only by attuning to pain can we hope to heal

We can try as hard as we like to build a better life for ourselves and our loved ones, but the truth is that sometimes things happen that are very difficult to recover from. Terrible, traumatising, crushingly painful things. If you are someone who has experienced abuse; lost a loved one too young; lost a baby or a child; wanted a child and not been able to have one for whatever reason; suffered irreparable injury to your body and your mind; or survived any tragedy that has left you drowning in despair, a better life may feel absolutely and irredeemably out of your grasp.

I understand this. I have seen it many times in my consulting room, and although I have been very fortunate in my life, I have also known that feeling of certainty that there are some traumas that you just cannot recover from. When you’re in the middle of it, or stuck in its aftermath, that is all there is.

In my teenage years I had an eating disorder and a voice in my head criticised everything I did. But then I took control

I wish I could say that if my teenage self had a window to the future, she would be proud of the person I’ve become. But, in truth, I think she would dislike me just as much as she disliked herself. Back then, I could have spoken for hours about all of the reasons I hated the person I was. And that wasn’t something I believed would change. I used to be all-consumed by my inner critic: the critical voice in my head was much louder than any rational thoughts or words of affirmation others offered me.

I had an eating disorder. Each day was a monotonous cycle of exercising as much as possible and eating as little as I could get away with. I was miserable, and it was all because of the cage I’d built within my own mind. This is not something unique to people with eating disorders. I’ve realised, after sharing my story online, that so many people have this unkind voice in their heads, critiquing their every move. And that when you start to talk back, your life improves in ways you wouldn’t expect.

Women will really have the right to choose if politicians vote to revoke this Victorian-era legislation

The NHS Business Services Authority contacted me even though I had paid the fee that was due

Last Christmas I was prescribed antibiotics for a post-operative infection. The pharmacy assistant insisted, despite my questioning, that I was exempt from prescription charges.

Two weeks later I returned with another prescription, and was told that they had made a mistake and I was liable for charges after all. I paid the outstanding fee on the spot.

Patients in England will be matched with studies and encouraged to take part via smartphone notifications

The government is aiming for a significant expansion of clinical trials in the UK, and plans to use the NHS app to encourage millions of people in England to take part in the search for new treatments.

Patients will eventually be automatically matched with studies based on their health data and interests, via the app. The plans envisage alerting them to the trials using smartphone notifications.

Combination of two targeted drugs found to produce better outcomes and was more tolerable than chemotherapy

A groundbreaking UK-wide trial has found a chemotherapy-free approach to treating leukaemia that may lead to better outcomes for some patients, with the results being hailed as a “milestone”.

Led by researchers from Leeds, results from the Flair trial, which took place at 96 cancer centres across the UK, could reshape the way the most common form of leukaemia in adults is treated, scientists said.

Tony Wright says that the government must show people what it stands for; Michael Foster says it should fund local authorities properly; and Mike Scott raises the dire state of the NHS

Martin Kettle quotes a former Whitehall mandarin saying that “the government has still not made clear what kind of Britain it is trying to create” (Rachel Reeves seized her moment – whatever the future brings, Labour’s economic course is now set, 12 June). He has a point, not wholly answered by Rachel Reeves. It’s the vision thing, and the ability to communicate it. It’s about describing what Labour is for, in a general sense, beyond a list of policy deliverables. Growth is important, but only as a means, not an end. “Securonomics” is interesting, but has no public resonance.

If people are now unsure what Labour stands for, it is because the task of ideological self-definition has been neglected. This is unlike 1997, which was preceded by a process of rethinking that produced New Labour and the “third way”. Something similar is needed now. There is a rich tradition of social democratic thinking in Britain to draw on, including RH Tawney’s argument for equal access to what he called “the means of civilisation” as the basis for a common culture.

Readers on how care homes and regulatory bodies have failed their families, in response to an article on The Firs in Nottinghamshire, which was closed by the Care Quality Commission

The situation at The Firs care home in Nottinghamshire, which was shut down in April, is dreadful for patients, families and staff (‘How did it get to this?’ What happens when care in a residential home breaks down, 7 June). But the Care Quality Commission (CQC) is not the only body to blame for failings like this.

It can’t investigate individual complaints – this is mostly down to the local government and social care ombudsman (LGSCO), but also the parliamentary and health service ombudsman (PHSO). It depends on who funds the care; in theory the same care home could be dealing with two ombudsman staff unaware of each other. Both are equally damned on Trustpilot with overwhelmingly negative reviews.

Whether you enjoy ‘rucking’, walking, running or making your own sandbags, life after winding up your monthly membership can be your healthiest and happiest ever

After almost two decades of regular gym-going, I’ve finally cancelled my membership. The reasons for this are many and varied – I’m trying to save money, gym music is terrible these days, everyone seems to have forgotten how to share the equipment – but the main one is, I think it may actually make me fitter.

Working for Men’s Fitness magazine for almost 10 years, I got to try out every trend, workout style and fitness event I wanted, and I noticed something interesting: quite frequently, the people with the fewest resources were in the best shape. I’m not including Hollywood actors in this, but otherwise, it’s often true: powerlifters working out in unheated concrete sheds get the strongest, runners who stay off treadmills get the fastest, and people exercising in basements have a focus rarely seen in palatial upmarket gyms. Browsing through photos from when my own gym membership was (briefly) paused during Covid lockdowns, I look … if not quite like Jason Statham, then at least his off-brand office-party equivalent. I might not have had the best cardio of my life – even social distancing couldn’t convince me to run more than three miles (5km) at a time – but I was certainly lean.

Administration’s actions signal move away from technology as health agencies see vaccine-related shakeups

As top US health officials turn against some mRNA vaccines, experts fear for the country’s preparedness for the next pandemic and worry that other vaccines will be targeted next.

Donald Trump’s administration recently canceled a $766m award to Moderna on the research and development of H5N1 bird flu vaccines, and officials have announced new restrictions and regulations for Covid mRNA vaccines – actions that signal a move away from the breakthrough technology.